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Welcome Lilly! Our new workshop coördinator

05/10/2023/by Jules

Hi everyone, I’m Lilly (she/her), the new workshop coordinator at Emancipator and an Amsterdam native of 31 years. As from October, I will be the point of contact for all our trainers and peers and will make sure that every workshop features one of these amazing trainers. I am really looking forward to getting involved with Emancipator and contributing to the goal of ‘men becoming more human’! Other than that, I play a lot of dungeons and dragons, write books and enjoy listening to Korean hip-hop and R&B.

Also interested in giving workshops? We will organise another training day for new peers in December, keep an eye on the calendar.

Process facilitation is a transformative and feminist practice

05/10/2023/by Jules

I have wanted to write this blog for a long time, and now I am actually doing it, triggered by our Open Space meeting on 7 November. But it is about much more, it is about how we change the world not only by what we do but especially by how we do it. And that has in turn everything to do with why we do it. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it

“Process facilitation is a gender transformative and feminist practice!” It was with this conclusion that I concluded Genuine Contact’s Working With Open Space Technology course a few years ago. And for that reason, at Emancipator, from the very beginning, we wanted not only to bring an innovative perspective but also to do so in an innovative way.

This is not the way

Recently, I was in two long meetings, one lasting four hours, the other no less than five hours. They were in fact planned as two shorter meetings in a row, but in terms of content and participants, they blended together. So in practice, we just sat in meetings for four and five hours. Without a check-in. Without a break, at least if I hadn’t asked for one at some point. We just kept buffeting along, from our heads, with all the important topics. As human beings, we got little or no attention in these meetings. “Mind-numbing, energy-draining and life-depleting,” I noted to myself.

I realised then that I really don’t want to do this anymore, that it’s not good for me, that things have to be different and can be different.

From head to heart and soul

During the training ‘Training with Heart and Soul’, I learnt that the biggest and most important part of our communication is non-verbal communication. Body language, intonation, etc determine whether and how our message comes across. It turns out that what we do is more important than what we say, which is also evident in raising children, for example. But subsequently we often revert to mainly verbal communication, words words words words, on paper, on a screen, spoken or written, but words everywhere, especially speaking to our heads. And if something goes wrong in communication, we also tend to try to solve it by saying the same thing again, but in different words, or through a different medium. What often gets overlooked is the relationship, the relationship level of ourselves with ourselves and with others. Whereas that is where everything happens that determines how we interact with each other and how we shape the world together.

Transforming masculinity

The way we meet, conference, collaborate, talk to each other, etc – all of these things are important for the change we want to see in the world. It is not right to do all these things in patriarchal ways while trying to dismantle patriarchy. We must be wary of reproducing traditionally masculine ways of working while trying to question and transform traditional masculinity.

Old politics

Meetings with ‘talking heads’ and ‘power-to-the-point’ are old politics. Sometimes we need that, to be taken seriously, because we do not yet know how to make our points in a different way, or because that is what we are all used to. But even when we give the stage to ‘unusual suspects’ and give space to a different perspective than usual, the underlying process is often actually old wine in new bottles.

Imagine change

By choosing as organisers who gets the stage, who does a presentation, who sits on a panel, who gives a workshop, etc., we determine what and who is, or should be found, important. But what happens if we leave it to the visitors and participants themselves? If they can decide what is on the agenda, if they can choose what they want to spend their time and attention on and what contribution they are willing and able to make?

Why, what, how

To me, this is about several things at the same time. It is about the message; for us the message of men’s emancipation, men’s contribution to women’s emancipation and what men themselves stand to gain from this. And it is about the organisation of meetings, process design, the design, how do we organise it, what choices do we make, and to what extent do we break old patterns in doing so? And it is about the way of meeting and working together, the process guidance, process facilitation, facilitating human interaction.

The entire human being

A good gathering appeals to many different people, addressing people in their completeness as human beings. We are not just head, we are heart, belly, hands, feet. We are mind, feelings, body, inspiration. We have different learning styles, and we need them all. Analysis, experience, reflection, being taken by the hand. We are rational, creative, visual, auditory, sensitive, spiritual. We have a left brain and a right brain. You could also say, we have a masculine and a feminine side. But in the end, we are mostly human, with everything what that means. We want to be perceived, addressed, engaged as human beings. We need our human potential to create good solutions to complex issues. The problems that have come from too much masculinity, too much ratio, too much abstraction, too much theory, cannot be solved by even more masculinity, even more ratio, even more abstraction, even more theory. If you continue to do what you always did, you will get what you always got. A problem can never be solved at the same level of consciousness that created it.

You may say I’m a dreamer…

At Emancipator we always start our meetings with checking in: how are you right now? What do you take with you from what you have experienced before, what is perhaps already occupying your mind from what is to come, what would be nice to share in order to be really present in the here and now? Then we try to communicate creatively, alternately, interactively with each other, pay attention to the process, use different work formats, incorporate sufficient breaks, alternate plenary work with duos and/or small groups, and take signals from participants seriously. If one person needs to go to the toilet, or is distracted, or tired, that usually applies to more people. Within Genuine Contact, this approach is called ‘Whole Person Process Facilitation’.

Of course, this is not perfect; it is a road of ups and downs, of trial and error, of compromising. What is clear, however, is that it is the way to go for us, the way to go if we really want to change things. If we want to put people above things, if we value relationships over performance, if we believe that a good process ultimately leads to a better outcome.

7 November 2023 Open Space

On 7 November 2023, we will organise an Open Space meeting in Amsterdam Zuidoost: More Care For Less Violence: Men More Human In 2024. Open Space provides the most equal space for participants to interact, learn and develop with and from each other. Even the meeting agenda is filled in by participants themselves. There are no stages, no lectures, no talking heads, no power to the point. What there is: lots of meeting, interaction, inspiration, participation. Of course, as an organisation, we do choose a theme as a framework for the meeting, thus providing direction. And we choose who we invite, thus determining the possible interpretations. By the way, we also did that together with others, at two meetings for stakeholders and interested parties who wanted to contribute to what it will all look like.

You are all welcome to further invite who you would like to be there. And to put your angle, perspective, topic, target group, method, question, insight, idea or whatever on the agenda!

Want to know more about Open Space?

On 6 November, the evening before the Open Space meeting, you’ll be given the change to delve into the Whole Person Process Facilitation (WPPF) and Open Space Technology. We will give a short presentation on these working methods and jointly set up the space for the meeting on 7 November. Together, we will set the tone for an inspiring day afterwards. Because how the space looks and feels is, of course, also of great importance for how the participants will feel and move in it and interact with each other. This is your chance to learn a bit more, meet others, and contribute practically to the organisation and success of this meeting. If you enjoy contributing practically to the organisation of this meeting, you are also welcome. Who you want to take part? You can register here.

By the way, next year we will organise another Open Space meeting, and we would like to bring more people along in its preparation. You can let us know right now if you’re interested, but it will also definitely come up again in our newsletter and social media!

On 6 November, the evening looks like this:

18.00 Reception and dinner at NoLimit!

18.30 Physically setting up the room

19.00 Explanation WPPF and Open Space

19.30 Setting room ambiance

21.30 End

6, 8, 13 September: preparatory meetings expert meeting men’s emancipation as part of the solution in the NAP

29/08/2023/by Jules

Dear men: a new perspective on masculinity

15/07/2023/by Jules

Pictures of “Man, Oh Man” event in Tivoli

20/06/2023/by Jules

English e-book now available! Why Feminism Is Good For Men

09/06/2023/by Jules

We are proud to finally present to you the English version of the book: Why Feminism Is Good For Men! After being published in Dutch, Arabic, German and Korean the book is now also available in English as e-book. You can buy it on Amazon.

Why Feminism Is Good for Men

What can men do to make this a better world – and what’s in it for them?

‘I am a feminist and I think feminism is good for men.’ That’s Jens van Tricht, engaging boys and men in gender justice in the Netherlands. Over the past century, women have successfully demanded access to domains once exclusively reserved for men, but there has been conspicuous silence around the emancipation of men. And yet men, too, are hampered by gender inequality. Because ‘real men’ are supposed to be tough, self- confident, strong and self-reliant. They have to work hard, aren’t allowed to cry or show any vulnerability. The harness of masculinity impedes men of developing their full human potential and has disastrous personal and social consequences.

Why Feminism Is Good For Men offers a fresh, hopeful perspective on men and masculinity. It shows how men can contribute to a better world, and what they stand to gain from doing that. Van Tricht has written a provocative plea for a more encompassing humanity: the freedom of every person to break loose of constricting expectations and to make the most of his or her talents.

‘This book is a must-read for every man, and for the women who care about them. It offers an inspiring and insightful discussion of men’s lives, gender inequalities, and feminism. Jens van Tricht’s message is both hopeful and accessible.’ – Professor Michael Flood, author of Engaging Men and Boys in Violence Prevention

‘An important contribution to the literature on men’s involvement in gender equality, this is a personal and very readable account of the importance of this work, and the challenges of carrrying it out in practice, from someone who has dedicated much of his life to doing just that.’ – Nikki van der Gaag, author of Feminism and and gender consultant

Jens van Tricht (1969) studied women’s studies at the University of Amsterdam and specialized in ‘men and masculinities’. He is the founder of Emancipator, the Dutch organisation for men and gender justice. He is also a board member of the MenEngage Global Alliance.

Why feminism is good for men is available in Arabic, Dutch, English, German and Korean.

Open Space-event 7 November 2023: Save the date!

03/06/2023/by Jules

Save the date! On 7 November 2023, we will organise another day of Open Space, on men’s empowerment and violence prevention. Using the Open Space methodology, we collaborate with a […]

MenEngage at the Gender Equality Index Conference 2019

17/10/2019/by Jules

On October 15, the new Gender Equality Index was presented at a conference in Brussels. The biannual index provides data on gender equality in EU countries on six topics: work, money, knowledge, time, power, health, violence and, working through and overarching all those, intersecting inequalities. In every edition, countries are scored between 0 and 100 on all these topics, and thus the progress of gender equality in the EU is made visible.

Find all graphs and figures here.

In 2019, the special focus of the Index and the conference was work-life balance, analyzing the opportunities of men and women regarding parental leave, access to and use of child and other care services, transport and commute, and flexible work arrangements.

At the conference we were happy to hear many people on stage calling for the involvement of men and masculinities in treating these issues, and for solutions targeted at the root of the problems we are facing – for instance in city planning and public transport, where we do of course need to protect women and lgbtqia+ people from harassment but even more pressingly need to address the origin of men’s violence.

Furthermore, it has been made clear that equality need not always be reached by making women change their ways to adjust to men’s standards and situations. This not only goes for the glass ceiling, but also, for instance, in the gendered division of daily commute, with men travelling by car more often and women using more public transport. This needs not necessarily be cured by encouraging more women to travel by car: when taking other issues into account, in this case the climate crisis, the wiser choice would be to encourage men to use public transport.

From this year on, an Index will be presented every year, so in a year we will hopefully receive more data on the situation of lgbtqia+ people and Roma and Muslim women, among others. We sure hope that the call for thorough transformation of gender norms and stereotypes, men’s active involvement in gender equality issues, and an overall intersectional approach has been heard by policy makers on all levels.

Rachel Ploem: “When we engage men as part of the solution, it becomes a different journey”

16/05/2019/by Jules

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Equitable, non-violent and caring forms of manhood

“It all started in 2007”, Rachel begins. “Women’s organisations in Indonesia and South Africa articulated an urgent call to us. Their female clients, survivors of domestic violence, said loud and clear: ‘It is not the relationship that has to end; it is the violence that should stop. Please, start working with our men!’ For Rutgers and me personally, it marked the beginning of a new journey with major mind shifts and unforeseen opportunities.”

The first MenEngage Symposium took place in July 2009, in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. About her participation, Rachel says: “We just wanted to check whether we were on the right track in our development of a counselling programme for violent men. Over 350 organisations from all over the world had the same question. How could the negative impact of hegemonic masculinities be transformed to more equitable, non-violent and caring forms of manhood?

“What struck me was the absence of Dutch representation”, continues Rachel. “The Netherlands is usually quite visible when it comes to sexual and women’s rights. The Dutch are without a doubt pioneers in this field. However, it seemed the ‘rule of the restrictive head start’ had started to apply to us here. As historical frontrunners in the field, we had perhaps become less open towards innovative insights and approaches from elsewhere.”

Toolkit for men

Together with Rifka Annisa and the Women’s Crisis Centre Bengkulu, two organisations from Indonesia, and Mosaic from South Africa, Rutgers finalised an intervention for male perpetrators: Toolkit for Men: male counselling in the context of intimate partner violence.This toolkit was identified as the most systematically developed counselling programme for perpetrators, and was awarded the PSO Award for Innovation.

“We learned that only counselling men and couples, without fundamental and structural shifts in culture, society and behaviour, would not lead to sufficient change”, explains Rachel. “So, we developed a new programme, together with Promundo in the US.” MenCare+: engaging men in a four-country initiative, ran from 2012-2015 and focused on engaging young men and fathers in SRHR and pre- and postnatal care in Brazil, Indonesia, Rwanda, and South Africa.”

Boost at home

Fatherhood was used as a ‘tipping point’ to work with men on issues, that for a long time were considered purely women’s affairs. And indeed, MenCare+’s results were encouraging. We saw improved communication, an increase in uptake of contraceptives, involvement of fathers in childcare, reduction of GBV and increased happiness.”

By linking the MenCare+ programme to the Global Fatherhood Campaign, it boosted the Netherlands as well. “We had started a ‘reversed learning process’. Successful advocacy and public campaigning resulted in an extension of paternity leave from two days to five days from January 2019 and an extra extension, up to 6 weeks, from July 2020 onwards. It also triggered the Dutch Ministry of Education to ask: what about Dutch men?” Rutgers developed ‘Beat the Macho’ and ‘Lefgozers’ together with Movisie. “This followed a similar approach as to MenCare+. Young men were offered safe spaces, free from peer pressure, to question what manhood means to them. ‘Be yourself’ became their new mantra.”

“Sexual relationships change significantly when men and women leave behind their perceptions on gender. It means you start investigating, discovering and questioning, as roles are no longer fixed.” – Participant Gender-transformative Approach Training, Bangladesh

Prevention+

At the start of 2016, MenCare+ was followed by Prevention+: men and women ending gender-based violence. Rachel: “If this problem is to end, underlying harmful cultural norms and values should be addressed, and boys and men must be engaged. Opening up for working with men on gender issues in a positive way, starts with self-reflection and becoming aware of your own biases. In an organisation with its roots in feminism, it wasn’t always plain sailing to overcome deep-rooted gender biases and resistance.”

“Violent realities are complex. By looking at both men and women as ‘gendered’, and by acknowledging that both can be victims, as well as perpetrators, we can get a better understanding of people’s experiences. It helps create more effective strategies in terms of prevention and access to services. It is important to frame men as part of the solution, instead of part of the problem, without undermining women’s safety and empowerment. Then it becomes a different journey, a change process that both boys and men, girls and women can profit from.”

The Prevention+ programme is centred around the ‘Gender-transformative Approach’. This way of working aims to free all people from power inequalities and restrictive gender and sexual norms, at all levels of society. “We’ve now adopted this as a cross-cutting part of all international work at Rutgers. A toolkit was developed and master trainers strengthen the approach around the world.”

Message of zero tolerance

“While we were working hard on implementing our programmes, a historical moment took place in October 2017”, continues Rachel. “Famous Hollywood producer, Harvey Weinstein, was accused of sexual and power abuse. The world was awakened by #MeToo. Millions of women and a few men, broke the silence and started sharing their own experiences with harassment and rape, committed by well-known powerful male figures, and by many more ‘invisible’ men. The message is clear: zero tolerance to sexual violence, harassment and sexism!”

“This time, more than ever, boys and men are actively triggered to listen to the stories of women, and to take a stand against other men who are harassing and perpetrating male chauvinism and misogyny towards women, and other men”, says Rachel. “#MeToo positioned sexual violence back into the public debate. It is about power and abuse within the social order that maintains abuse.”

“The real barrier is religious interpretation. We have to promote the humanistic interpretation of religion.” – Musdah Mulia, Indonesia, participant in a religious leaders learning event

New Strategic Alliances

At that same time there is reason for less optimism. “A rising conservatism goes along with a tendency to turn away from universal human rights towards more dogmatic beliefs. The impact of this shift has disproportionate consequences for girls and women. It limits their sexual rights, and entails a reinforcement of male hierarchy affecting boys and men as well. People with diverse sexual and gender identities are pushed into the margins”, says Rachel. “It urges for critical (self)-reflection, debate and dialogue. Questions like the connection between toxic masculine behaviour and feelings of meaninglessness, detachment and the lack of prospects are raised. New strategic alliances need to be formed.”

As one of her last big events at Rutgers, Rachel organised a learning event with leaders from different religious communities, governments and civil society organisations from nine countries. A special moment was a dialogue with (H)echt Verbonden, a Rotterdam-based initiative that also deals with breaking harmful cultural practices in partnership with religious leaders, government and survivors of violence.

Here, we saw what Rachel stood for in her career at Rutgers. The promotion of equal and non-violent (sexual) relationships in societies based on openness, inclusiveness and diversity. “More than ever we need to engage boys and men in changing a system and a culture rooted in centuries of male supremacy, together with girls and women. It is about creating new space for all, to be human!”

What men can do every day in advancing gender equality

02/04/2019/by Jules

Although International Women’s Day took place on March 8, Kevin believes it should be International Women’s Day every day as long as inequality, sexism and oppression is still real.

We men need to be better, so much better than we have been thus far, if we’re serious about gender parity. The reality is that we are so ridiculously far behind on anywhere near gender parity. Meaning us men have to take responsibility for closing the gap!

Part of the problem is that not enough men are actively working on a better-balanced world. We men cannot stand on the sideline and wait for women to advance the women’s agenda. We are the ones who hold power, we are the ones who have created a system that gives men power, we are the ones who stay in power, and we are the ones who need to share that power.

So to honor #IWD 2019, here’s a list of everyday things (in random order) we men can do in order not just to be a feminist in thoughts, but to be a feminist in actions…

1. REFLECT ON YOUR BIASES & BEHAVIOUR
Let’s start with a really hard one. Even the most well-intentioned men cannot escape biases that have been shaped through a centuries’ old patriarchy. Chances are, no matter how much we claim to be pro-equality, our actions and inactions have probably led and are at times leading to a worsening of the status quo.

In the fight for gender equality, it’s not the openly sexist that are the biggest obstacle. The biggest obstacle in the fight for equality are men who call themselves feminist and promoters of equality, unaware how their behaviors are contributing to more inequality.

Honestly reflect on, as a starting point, these questions:
-How have, and are my behaviors limiting women? (E.g. not speaking out when seeing sexism, interrupting women more often than interrupting men)
-How are my compliments, no matter how well-intentioned, perhaps contributing to sexism? (E.g. complimenting women on their looks, while complimenting men on their skills)
-What do I believe about domestic work division? Do my actions support equal opportunity at home.

2. ADMIT GUILT & CHANGE THE NARRATIVE
Great to see many men appreciating women today, and many men saying that sexism is bad. It’s not as if women haven’t been saying this for forever (sarcasm).

So many men teach the talk, and preach the walk, but refuse to look in the mirror. If all you have to say is “Sexism is bad” and “I appreciate you women”, then you’re not contributing to a different narrative.

We men have to change our narrative, among us men, and in today’s society. And it starts with looking in the mirror and admitting guilt, admitting our privilege. Just because we admit guilt, doesn’t mean we’re bad people, but it means that we can start using our privilege in much more powerful ways.

If you’re serious in advancing gender parity, then use today to have an honest look in the mirror!! Here are some prompts to get you started:

-Think about how action and inaction are choices in either disrupting or keeping alive inequality. Then think about times when you took action to contribute to equality, and moments when you have failed to take action and inadvertently contributed to inequality.
-Think back to the moment in your life that you became aware that gender inequality is real. How did you behave before that moment? How did you behave after that realization?
-What negative thoughts/beliefs/stereotypes did you hold about women? And why? What made you change your beliefs?
-Reflect on all the ways you are benefiting from being a man in today’s society.

3. LISTEN
Women are too often ignored, interrupted and not taken seriously. We men need to listen more and better, listen to women opening up about sexism and abuse, listen to women who share ideas at work, listen to women who call us out when we’re being sexist, listen to women; period.

At work we men interrupt women more frequently than other men, it’s called ‘mansplaining’, and it’s rooted in a bias that we think we know better. Women sharing ideas at work are often overlooked and ignored. If we don’t start listening better, we’re not helping women advance; we’re not learning anything about the patriarchy and sexism.

It’s very simply, in our daily interactions, we men can shut up and listen.

This also means, don’t compare your male privileged experience when women speak about the discrimination they face, don’t say things like “I grew up poor”, “I get discriminated for being short”, just don’t! Making it about you stops any constructive conversation from happening, resist the urge and listen.

4. BE AN EQUAL PARTNER AT HOME
One of the biggest unaddressed barriers for women to advance in the workplace is how we treat domestic responsibilities. Around the world women are taking on more (full-time jobs) while still running the majority of domestic responsibilities.

If we men are serious about helping women advance, we need to take on more responsibility at home, we need to share in the work that goes in to managing a household. We cannot expect women to hold a full-time job at work and at home, while we are only holding a full-time job at work.

Having grown up in a family where as a kid I was expected to help out with household responsibilities, I know how much time it takes. And I also know how easy it is to fall into old patterns of thinking that dictate women will take care of it.

Equality, gender parity, equal opportunity, all need to be addressed everywhere; not just at work.

5. EDUCATE YOURSELF
Women already face discrimination everywhere, at work, at home, out on the streets, public places… And on top of that they also face the burden of having to educate men who continue to be baffled by the experience’s women face every day. Don’t be that man who puts that extra burden on women, don’t be that man who thinks he knows everything about sexism when in truth you don’t know shit. Instead educate yourself. If you are serious about wanting to advance the women’s agenda, then start reading more about sexism, patriarchy, everyday gender discrimination.

If you don’t know where to start, let me suggest some books I’ve read and found confronting and insightful:

-Drop the ball – Tiffany Dufu
-The end of men – Hanna Roisin
-The descent of man – Greyson Perry
-The war on women – Sue Lloyd-Roberts
-We should all be feminists – Chimanda Ngozi Adichie
-The Paula principle – Tom Schuller
-Women & power – Mary Beard
-The good immigrant – Nikesh Shukla
-Why I’m no longer talking to white people about race – Reni Eddo-Lodge
-White fragility – Robin DiAngelo
-Misogynation – Laura Bates
-Everyday sexsim – Laura Bates
-Men explain things to me – Rebecca Solnit
-Poetry by: Andrea Gibson, Rupi Kaur, Guante, Rachel Wiley

6. SPEAK OUT
Whenever you see sexism happening, speak out!! I know it’s fucking difficult to do so, because I often fail at this, and yet, I need to speak out more if I am serious about gender parity.

Silence always sides with the oppressor.
Taking a neutral stance always supports the oppressor.
Not saying anything because it doesn’t affect you empowers the oppressor.

We cannot claim to be pro-equality, and as soon as we see sexism happen turn a blind eye. A sexist joke isn’t innocent; it confirms a system of oppression.

7. BE MINDFUL OF LANGUAGE
Language shapes our reality. And our language is pro-male oriented. We easily say things like:
“You’re a pussy”
“You fight like a girl”
“Grow a pair” or “You’ve got balls”

And that’s just three examples of a sickening amount language that suggest male qualities to be superior over female qualities.

Our language subconsciously shapes our attitude, our beliefs, and our way of looking at the world. We need to choose our words more carefully if we want it to represent a more just, fair, and equal world for women.

8. GET IN TOUCH WITH & EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS
That men are less emotional than women is a narrative we keep telling ourselves without challenging this. As babies we never knew that there’s a different way we have to go about feelings, but while growing up we are bombarded with messages that shape our beliefs…

‘Man up!’
‘Feelings are for pussies’
‘Don’t be so gay’
‘Real men don’t cry’

As babies, we men cried, we screamed, we made sure we expressed our needs in whatever way we were capable of. The fact that we live in a society that keeps telling men to hold back their feelings is a big obstacle in gender equality. As much as gender discrimination might be considered a women’s issue, it’s very much a men’s issue too, or better said; a society’s issue.

If we can allow ourselves to be more vulnerable, allow ourselves to open up about all the toxic ways our society is negatively affecting men’s mental and emotional health, we will contribute to breaking down the patriarchy, and in doing so, allow women to thrive as well as men to stay healthy.

9. SPONSOR WOMEN
When we are asked to recommend people, it’s easy to immediately think of men, as we men are over-represented in many areas of life. So next time if you’re asked to suggest a good MC, speaker for an event, Team Leader, coach, scientist, author, poet etc. instead of immediately going to your go-to list of men, take a conscious moment and think of women you could suggest. One problem in women advancing is when we don’t give them the exposure; it’s double hard for women to advance.

So, let’s become active advocates of women role models, because they are there!!

10. BE MINDFUL OF THE SPACE YOU TAKE

Whether it’s physical or verbal. Men are often socialized to take the lead, be outspoken, grab the spotlights. Women take less space, so share the space fairly. Women, for various reasons, are more likely to have their contributions minimized or ignored. By promoting women’s contributions and giving credit, men can use their privileges to take women’s contributions more visible in order to amplify women’s voices.

11. DEMAND CHANGE FROM YOUR EMPLOYER
When Ashton Kutcher wrote on social media that it’s ridiculous that male bathrooms didn’t have a diaper change area, and he challenged the biased architecture, some major companies took this to heart and immediately made work of it. Because men tend to be heard more loudly and seriously than women (see section 1), we men have a lot of power in shaping the agendas of the organizations we work for.

Let’s use our voices to actively call for our employers to be serious about equal opportunity.

12. TRULY APOLOGISE
We men will screw up; often this will happen not because we want to, simply because we are not aware of our biases. If we are lucky there will be women (or men) who will call us out on our mistakes. Let’s change this idea of ‘Being a man’ to mean that we take full responsibility, meaning that we truly apologize. Not those fake apologies where we still point fingers and run away from responsibility, but real apologies.

“I am sorry that I behaved in ways that hurt you, for not realizing my sexist biases and behaviors, you should expect better from me and I will educate myself so that I prevent this from happening in the future! What can I do right now to make this better?”

instead of

“I am sorry for my behavior, but I grew up in an age where this was the norm”
This is bullshit as we don’t take responsibility and in fact turn ourselves into a victim by blaming society for your behavior.

13. ASK QUESTIONS
And finally, we men can ask more questions to women.

Questions to better understand their challenges.
Questions to better understand our responsibility.
Questions to better understand our biases.
Questions to better understand how we can be an ally in the fight for equality.